{what to wear?}

I've recently become obsessed with clothing.

Rewind to a few years ago. I literally didn't care at all about what I wore.  In high school, most days I would wear just jeans and a sweatshirt- most likely one from PINK, because it was the cool thing to wear in 2008 and it was comfortable.  

I downgraded from that when I moved to college, quickly trading my jeans for yoga pants simply because they didn't fit me right.  I would wear junior's sizes (I was 17 years old so it made sense to me) which had a really, really low-rise and thus meant pulling up my pants constantly.  Plus, I have the luxury (sarcasm) of attending a very hill-y university (and lived on top of the tallest hill on campus).  So- yoga pants it was.  And sweatshirts.  I cared more about comfort than what I wore.  I also didn't want to admit that I was *drum roll* plus size.

All my life, I had believed fat is bad. Society tells us over and over that fat is ugly.  Fat people shouln't wear pretty clothes.  I should lose some weight if I want to wear that.  Conversely, plus size clothing was embarrassing, and somehow in my head it would definitely mean I was fat, something I had tried to deny since I was a kid.  I couldn't win.  

Finally, I realized that it doesn't matter what number is on the tag.  What matters is that I think the clothing is cute, that I think it fits me properly, and that I feel good in it.  Comfort helps, too.  I am a college student, after all.

So, what made me love clothing?  I think a lot of it had to do with that newfound freedom I had given myself by embracing the fact that I was plus size.  Body positivity has been a long journey for me (that's for another post), but finding my own style has considerably helped.  Also, the fact that I was hired at a very popular and inexpensive clothing store helped feed my addiction. 

I found myself wearing more scarves, earrings, cardigans, skinny jeans, boots, et etera et cetera et cetera in sophomore year of college.  It was the complete opposite of freshman year's yoga pants and dingy hoodies.  I didn't mind taking risks.  It was fun.  My wallet disagreed (sigh!).  I also gained a sense of confidence that it didn't matter that I was fat- I could look cute no matter what my size was. Even my dad, the most fashion-illiterate person I have ever met, said he liked the new 'scarfy style' I had obtained and that he could tell I felt good about myself.  Hearing that from my dad, of all people, gave me more of a confidence boost than I could have ever imagined.

This brings me to now, June 2013.  As mentioned in my last post, I'm going to Europe in a week, and packing has seemed to be both the most daunting and exciting task EVER.

Outfit planning, list v 2.0.  Sorry for the
shitty iPhone picture.

I know in Europe, people dress classier, which means more sundresses and less denim.  "Organized" is one word I would never use to describe myself in a million years, but when I get excited about something, I delve in, and make a million lists and plans.  I also have over-packing tendencies.  I will pack something even if I have never worn it prior to the trip because "what if I get the sudden urge to wear this and I don't have access to it"?  God forbid!

I've even gone so far as to make 2 different outfit itineraries for this trip. I got 2 new dresses after I made the first one, so it obviously wasn't valid anymore and I knew I needed to make a new one.  I swear, one dress was meant to be... I fell in love with this dress online a month or so ago, but when I finally got the guts/money to buy it, it was sold out.  I cried. (Not really).  Then, I happened to be checking it out online, and I noticed "out of stock" wasn't written in red below the description... and there was only one size available- my size! So, I bought it, and as soon as I got the order confirmation email, it said 'sold out' again.  Fate, I tell you. FATE. 

I found my cute dresses at a variety of places:  Fashion to Figure, Forever 21+, Target, and Asos Curve.  All of them will be showcased on this blog when I'm connected to the wifi in either Rome or London, or maybe even when I get home.  I'm gonna be one of those super annoying tourists who takes a million and five photos of every sight I see, because when am I gonna get to Europe again?  I have no idea.  So I'm gonna savor every tacky & touristy moment I can.

I use parentheses too much. 

Sorry. (Not sorry).