Wednesday, June 19, 2013

{i don't wanna grow up}

As I mentioned in my last two posts, I'm on vacation now.  And it's still not technically summer.

I'm in my apartment, by myself, as I have been for the past two days.  None of my roommates are here and neither are our might-as-well-be-roommates.  So basically that means I cook Monster's Inc. macaroni and talk to myself.  Is that weird?

If you know me, you would know that I have had countless blogs, and only kept up with one (which doesn't count because it's a tumblr and that's not really 'blogging') and that I've always loved to write.

A million people ask me- what do you want to do when you grow up? And my answer is always not a fucking clue.

I'm starting to figure it out, but the idea of being an adult scares the shit out of me.  I can't imagine living in my own house, by myself (or with a husband!?!? what1?@!??), paying a mortgage, going to work every day, la la la.  I just can't.  I have no idea where I'll be in a few years, what I'll be doing, where I'll be working, who I'll be living with, or how many cats I'll have.  I get a little internal anxiety when I think about it.  There is such a question mark in my head when it comes to the future.  When do I get my responsibility certification?  When do I start being treated as an adult?  When do I start doing my "own thing" and relying solely on myself, no help from mom?  How do I adult?!  I've gone to the DMV by myself.  I've paid my own bills.  I've gotten a tattoo.  I've signed my own lease without a cosigner.  I've procured my own car insurance.  I've cooked a meal and not killed anyone.  I've set up my own printer.  When I was little, those were adult things. Does that mean I'm an adult?

If anyone has any pointers, please let me know, because the whole turning-into-an-adult thing really freaks me out.  When I graduate from WWU in two years, I'll probably read this blog post and point and laugh at myself.

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